Saturday, December 20, 2008

I'm Outta Here....

well changes a muck this year, we are all headed to florida...yes, we finally gave into marlene's nagging and are making the trip to her trailer court in sunny of marlene's past trailer court tenants passed away and left her a bit of cash...cecil, avis and i are renting a minivan from budget and heading kids..thank the good lord..remember i about had a nervous breakdown at thanksgiving....wish us well on our journey, we leave monday and cecil has the stops mapped out thanks to earl his trucker buddy...the best priced gas and slim jims from columbus to tampa.....happy holidays my friends.

Friday, November 28, 2008

turkey day come, turkey day go

another one in the books - another fresh batch of gray hair...i must be getting OLD because all these damn nieces and nephews never fail to get on my last nerve -- this year all the kool milds, old milwaukee and xanax couldn't compete with them. just wait until christmas and they are all jazzed up on christmas cookies and other festive sugars oh yeah wait that can't be any worse than the monster sized Rockstar energy drinks they all picked up at the service station...i had big plans this year....special to do with my spam creation..... in years past we have just had cold cuts but i thought i would bring back the spam tradition with a twist -- shaping the spam into a turkey, well not as easy as it sounds and it was just a plain ole loaf o'spam...i took some photos with my kodak disk but walgreens told me they haven't developed film from a disk in fifteen to twenty years i say that's a load....just b/c i don't have a fancy you can see the picture immediately camera i can't get my pictures developed? i was so angry, i threw down my Kool Milds, told the kid to pull up his damn pants and promptly went straight to discount drug mart...where i was again heckled for using a camera from the eighties...what's wrong with that my car is the same age and still gets me from a to b.....all this and it was black friday...what is wrong with these people??? i just don't understand, why, why, why, i ask you?????

well one of those teenagers just popped by and loaded a couple pictures of our Velveeta spam

and she scanned me in a old picture of cecil with cecil, jr., his ex-wife and great aunt wanda....not getting me in the christmas spirit at all but maybe it will help one of you all out there...and just in case you don't remember the kodak disk i had my niece take a shot at my apparent antique betcha still in **mint** condition....

now i am off to the bowling alley to claim my stool and relax with a tall one and of course my kool milds....

Saturday, November 22, 2008

freakn halloween

i know i know get off my back already people...i have been busy with league tourneys at the alley and not enough time to update this nonsense just for everyone elses enterfreakntainment. anyway, i had to chaperone a halloween party in late october and i think i am still was nothin like we have around the trailer court, we have some sheets over the head and plastic masks anything for an excuse to get together with a keg of old milwaukee...

look at these costumes - can you believe it..the money spent on these costumes could buy me a crate of Kool Milds...

and to top it bobbing for apples? come on, have you ever been to a party in october and not bobbed for apples? it like going to the high school fun fest and not having a dunk tank. bobbin for apples around the court is always full of shenanigans and a lot of ruckus especially if cecil jr and dale are around..always think its funny to hold some new guys head under until he shooting water out his nose...such nonsense.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

survivor bs!

i am at my usual spot on thursday night, you all know by now, if you dont too bad! the bar tv is tuned into SURVIVOR...
come on, what the*^&@!
who watches that crap and who would want to spend weeks with no bathroom, no toilet paper and the most important things no KOOL MILDS and no OLD MILWAUKEE....
the only time i give up the
old milwaukee is when the bar has 25cent
PABST BLUE RIBBON once a month!
there isnt any amount of money or the promise of a new trailer to get me to spend any amount of time with stinky strangers who think they are all that!!sitting at the bar tonight with me are cecils neighbors that live 2 trailers down from him-
ricky lee and joellen
if you look real close at ricky lees eyes you will notice his glass eye
when he gets real drunk, he takes it out and washes it in his beer....
tonight wasnt one of those nights.
okay enough of the chitchat
back to some real conversation.

Monday, September 29, 2008

nascar recap!

i have been back from my nascar trip for a couple of weeks now and lived to talk about it...the race was all i could image but thank gawd it was not too hot, i could not have stood there packed into the grandstand like sardines in 80+ degree weather...some of those guys smelled bad enough without the help of sweat. i ran out of koolmilds about 230 miles into the race and had to snag some vantage cigs from the old man in front of me...i think he thought i was cute with my fashonista butterfly i've been sporting in my doo. to tell you the truth i think i had more fun hangin with my nascar buddies that night before the race -- above you can see me with Big Ray, Martha Jean and Little Ray. if you look closely you can see alot of the drivers autographs on Martha Jeans shirt. Cecil would kill for that shirt...Big Ray, Martha Jean and Little Ray made the trip down from Ct. They make this pilgrimage every year.
the ride with those artsy crafty gals seemed at times the ride to hell ...they could turn a 14 hours drive into a three day excursion stopping at every little antique shop along the way.

We got holed up in rochester, ny on the way back to ohio due to that damn hurricane ike - the wind was blowing so flippin hard i thought i was going to lose half my lee press on nails and wouldn't you know i just glued those bad boys on just before the big race.
when i finally got home i had to beat cecil and family off like flies trying to get in on every little detail of the race and my weekend...whatever, they need to pony up the money and get their own freakn tickets and stop thinking they are all that just because they go to the demolition derby most saturday nights.
i got myself in to a few more adventures while in new hampshire but those will have to wait for another post - it is time for me to head out to the alley and have me a few old milwaukees..
the barstool is calling my name.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

nascar bound

sweet jesus~~
i cannot believe that i am this lucky to be going to an actual nascar race this weekend...
the only problem is that i have to hitch a ride with these 2crafty gals that dont know when to shut their damn pie holes .
shit they wanna stop and take g**damn pictures at every corner...if i hear one more time
"hey, thats a photo op, stop" i am just goin ralph my slim jims up!
this picture is taken at cecils place , i took pleasure in telling him that i was going and he wasnt!!
he couldnt get off from the plant, ha ha!
look over my shoulder and you can see all the damn medication he is on!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

family reunion 2008

when it comes to a family reunion all you have to mention is free beer and cigs and so-called
relatives come out of the woodwork...this years mess happened at the VFW hall...
we had it all steak, sweet corn and BEER...
but the best thing about this annual function is


Marlene made it up from Florida:

Avis was there in full force accompanied by her granddaughter Darlene...

who I must say needs to go shopping for some clothes that fit:

Avis's current man-Kennie
and Cecil with his girlfriend Janice...

this was Janice's first reunion but as you can see she fit right in:

janices daughter-jackee and her husband-bruce who is a HUGE nascar fan

Cecil's oldest Cecil Jr. and his wife Shelley:

Cecils youngest son, Dale...he totaled his SUV last weekend and has to

drive his tow truck


This year was one for the books we got Uncle Jessie out..broken arm and all...he fell off a barstool a month back:

Uncle Jesse is my moms(god rest her soul) brother

Dickie (uncle jesses son)showed up in his normal attire of bibs but good god almighty he actually had on a clean t-shirt underneath --

you'll also see his wife Gloria's new tattoo :

A few shots from around the gathering:

the day was as good as it gets around here..

we were missing lonnie jo and the indiana bunch and our

new acquaitance ethel

but all in all

we all left with empty coolers and a little drunker than usual.......

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

pool season

well, it is gettin time for cecil to open up his damn pool, he acts like it is some luxurious

place like beverly hills, more like the beverly hillbillies!! it is just some above the ground piece of crap and everyday his brats and their unbehaved friends show up to lay around

on their blow-up

plastic crap from the big lot store this is something that cecil picked up on his way home from the plant

he said there aint nothin wrong with puttin it out by the pool..

i hope he gets some kind of sckiv from it

he is a trash picker loud and proud.

this is what cecil thinks his pool looks like???

i guess if you drink enough PBR anything looks good...

cecil opens up his pool memorial day weekend with a big cook-out! i show up long enough to say hello , swig a cold one and then head back over to my little piece of heaven...

cannot stand all those brats and their obnoxious friends....

gawd another summer in HELL...

Friday, April 25, 2008

long lost relative

much to my dismay, i was forced to go to seattle a couple of weeks ago...
and lo and behold who did i run into???
i was minding my own business waiting to go on that tour, you know where that boat with wheels drives you around seattle and then goes into the water, something about a duck or other..
just keeping to myself eating a slim jim and drinking my over-priced starbucks joe
when i hear this high pitched shrill of a voice calling my name,
i knew that could only belong to one person and one person only
and that is my second cousin - lonnie jo from greencastle, indiana.
lonnie jo is my dads(cecil sr)aunts(coralee) that??
well long story short, lonnie jo is living large
managing the 2local laundr-o-mats called the wash & dry
in greencastle...
she was in seattle at a conference for low sudsing detergants and their effeciency..
what is that whoey??
you used to be able to walk into grocery and pick between tide, cheer or all..
3detergants and that is that...
but not now, you got the dang high effeciency detergants, dark colors choices, whites only..
sweet jesus, i just buy my soap at the stop and shop, where i buy my smokes
one choice in and out...

anyway, she still lives in a rental with her live-in, who we only know as eddie...
well there was no where for me to run , so i had to listen to her yap and yap
about when we were young and used to fight over who was a catch-
mannix-her choice

or mine-rockford(xox)..
that 2hrs couldnt had been any slower.....
i ate my whole pack of slim jims and couldnt wait to
get off that ride so i could smoke my ciggys in peace..
it was nice to see her for a minute but if i dont see her again in 20yrs
i couldnt care....
she was annoying then and annoying now....