nascar recap!

i have been back from my nascar trip for a couple of weeks now and lived to talk about it...the race was all i could image but thank gawd it was not too hot, i could not have stood there packed into the grandstand like sardines in 80+ degree weather...some of those guys smelled bad enough without the help of sweat. i ran out of koolmilds about 230 miles into the race and had to snag some vantage cigs from the old man in front of me...i think he thought i was cute with my fashonista butterfly i've been sporting in my doo. to tell you the truth i think i had more fun hangin with my nascar buddies that night before the race -- above you can see me with Big Ray, Martha Jean and Little Ray. if you look closely you can see alot of the drivers autographs on Martha Jeans shirt. Cecil would kill for that shirt...Big Ray, Martha Jean and Little Ray made the trip down from Ct. They make this pilgrimage every year.
the ride with those artsy crafty gals seemed at times the ride to hell ...they could turn a 14 hours drive into a three day excursion stopping at every little antique shop along the way.


We got holed up in rochester, ny on the way back to ohio due to that damn hurricane ike - the wind was blowing so flippin hard i thought i was going to lose half my lee press on nails and wouldn't you know i just glued those bad boys on just before the big race.

when i finally got home i had to beat cecil and family off like flies trying to get in on every little detail of the race and my weekend...whatever, they need to pony up the money and get their own freakn tickets and stop thinking they are all that just because they go to the demolition derby most saturday nights.
i got myself in to a few more adventures while in new hampshire but those will have to wait for another post - it is time for me to head out to the alley and have me a few old milwaukees..
the barstool is calling my name.

nascar bound

sweet jesus~~

i cannot believe that i am this lucky to be going to an actual nascar race this weekend...

the only problem is that i have to hitch a ride with these 2crafty gals that dont know when to shut their damn pie holes .

shit they wanna stop and take g**damn pictures at every corner...if i hear one more time

"hey, thats a photo op, stop" i am just goin ralph my slim jims up!

this picture is taken at cecils place , i took pleasure in telling him that i was going and he wasnt!!

he couldnt get off from the plant, ha ha!

look over my shoulder and you can see all the damn medication he is on!

family reunion 2008

when it comes to a family reunion all you have to mention is free beer and cigs and so-called

relatives come out of the woodwork...this years mess happened at the VFW hall...

we had it all steak, sweet corn and BEER...

but the best thing about this annual function is

NO KIDS ALLOWED...

Marlene made it up from Florida:

Avis was there in full force accompanied by her granddaughter Darlene...

who I must say needs to go shopping for some clothes that fit:

Avis's current man-Kennie

and Cecil with his girlfriend Janice...

this was Janice's first reunion but as you can see she fit right in:

janices daughter-jackee and her husband-bruce who is a HUGE nascar fan

Cecil's oldest Cecil Jr. and his wife Shelley:

Cecils youngest son, Dale...he totaled his SUV last weekend and has to

drive his tow truck

everywhere.

This year was one for the books we got Uncle Jessie out..broken arm and all...he fell off a barstool a month back:

Uncle Jesse is my moms(god rest her soul) brother

Dickie (uncle jesses son)showed up in his normal attire of bibs but good god almighty he actually had on a clean t-shirt underneath --

you'll also see his wife Gloria's new tattoo :

A few shots from around the gathering:

the day was as good as it gets around here..

we were missing lonnie jo and the indiana bunch and our

new acquaitance ethel

but all in all

we all left with empty coolers and a little drunker than usual.......

pool season

well, it is gettin time for cecil to open up his damn pool, he acts like it is some luxurious

place like beverly hills, more like the beverly hillbillies!! it is just some above the ground piece of crap and everyday his brats and their unbehaved friends show up to lay around

on their blow-up

plastic crap from the big lot store this is something that cecil picked up on his way home from the plant

he said there aint nothin wrong with puttin it out by the pool..

i hope he gets some kind of sckiv from it

he is a trash picker loud and proud.
ugh..

this is what cecil thinks his pool looks like???

i guess if you drink enough PBR anything looks good...

cecil opens up his pool memorial day weekend with a big cook-out! i show up long enough to say hello , swig a cold one and then head back over to my little piece of heaven...

cannot stand all those brats and their obnoxious friends....

gawd another summer in HELL...

long lost relative

much to my dismay, i was forced to go to seattle a couple of weeks ago...

and lo and behold who did i run into???

i was minding my own business waiting to go on that tour, you know where that boat with wheels drives you around seattle and then goes into the water, something about a duck or other..

just keeping to myself eating a slim jim and drinking my over-priced starbucks joe

when i hear this high pitched shrill of a voice calling my name,

i knew that could only belong to one person and one person only

and that is my second cousin - lonnie jo from greencastle, indiana.

lonnie jo is my dads(cecil sr)aunts(coralee) daughter...got that??

well long story short, lonnie jo is living large

managing the 2local laundr-o-mats called the wash & dry

in greencastle...

she was in seattle at a conference for low sudsing detergants and their effeciency..

what is that whoey??

you used to be able to walk into grocery and pick between tide, cheer or all..

3detergants and that is that...

but not now, you got the dang high effeciency detergants, dark colors choices, whites only..

sweet jesus, i just buy my soap at the stop and shop, where i buy my smokes

one choice in and out...

anyway, she still lives in a rental with her live-in, who we only know as eddie...

well there was no where for me to run , so i had to listen to her yap and yap

about when we were young and used to fight over who was a catch-

mannix-her choice

or mine-rockford(xox)..

that 2hrs couldnt had been any slower.....

i ate my whole pack of slim jims and couldnt wait to

get off that ride so i could smoke my ciggys in peace..

it was nice to see her for a minute but if i dont see her again in 20yrs

i couldnt care....

she was annoying then and annoying now....

flippin snow

march sure is coming in like a lion and i do not like it one bit stuck in this rat hole of a trailer for three straight days....

at least its a break from cecil..he is a good brother but everytime i turn around there he is......another thing.. the k -car is awful in this weather..all weather tires my ass...

i went out just long enough to grab a couple cartons of virginia slims, some str8 up slim jims and some PBR.....thank god the GAS N GO right outside the trailer court and down the street....there was no way in hell that i was stepping foot in the walmart tonight, those idiots act like they never seen snow before and are stock piling everything they can get

their grubby hands on......

thank elvis i still have my cable

i do love my reruns of the rockford files.....

happy hallmark $$ makn day

hang on to your seats people~i need a couple of more puffs on the cig before i can start this post..
mmmm, nothing like a virginia slim right out of a fresh pack and a str8 up slim jim before i head off to the bowling alley, cecil and janice are in some kind of damn tournament where they could possible win some money, which cecil will then spend on more artifical grass for his trailer deck while janice will try and get him to take her on a luxury vacation to niagara falls..
ps -that trip will never happen~

dewey the bartender at the alley bar bought this lamp on his recent vacation to graceland..
i like elvis but nothing beats a good love song sung buy the one and only
~liberace..
.gawd, i adore him......

okay, enough chitchat, gotta get myself to the alley , tonight beer is 2for 1, a little something
dewey likes to call his double pleasure night, he does this every valentines day...
he also changes all the light bulbs to red
the whole bar looks like a cheap whore house..business will be booming...
i think it is alot of hoey for one night...