nascar baby!

did you all see it? daytona was last sunday--how freakn exciting is that? i almost had to put my depends on i was so excited! anyway, all that hype and the race was a dissapointment...finished uunder caution due to rain>>>cheap i tell you ...if you cant drive in the rain what good are you??? i have not been around blogland for a while...out christmas trip to florida was extended because cecil"s gout flared up and i wasn't drivin that heap of a van through the mountains in virginia...ugh what a drive..did manage to stop of and pick ethel up a earnhart shirt...did i mention dale jr ran like shit on sunday..caused about a 20 car crash late in the day...he'll never live up to his dad's legacy..long live big E.....speaking of ethel and her new nascar shirt>>>you'll never guess what she got me..check out my new bowling shirt....these shots were taken superbowl sunday...not a stool in the bar to be had so we hit the billiard hall>>shoot even the commercials suck these days...

this weekend i am gettin my wig busted..haven't been to the beauty parlor in years but avis got me a gift certificate for christmas...so i'm off for a wash and a set...stayed tuned for the finished product...oh boy the smell of white rain aerosol...gotta love it.

I'm Outta Here....

well changes a muck this year, we are all headed to florida...yes, we finally gave into marlene's nagging and are making the trip to her trailer court in sunny florida...one of marlene's past trailer court tenants passed away and left her a bit of cash...cecil, avis and i are renting a minivan from budget and heading south....no kids..thank the good lord..remember i about had a nervous breakdown at thanksgiving....wish us well on our journey, we leave monday and cecil has the stops mapped out thanks to earl his trucker buddy...the best priced gas and slim jims from columbus to tampa.....happy holidays my friends.

turkey day come, turkey day go

another one in the books - another fresh batch of gray hair...i must be getting OLD because all these damn nieces and nephews never fail to get on my last nerve -- this year all the kool milds, old milwaukee and xanax couldn't compete with them. just wait until christmas and they are all jazzed up on christmas cookies and other festive sugars oh yeah wait that can't be any worse than the monster sized Rockstar energy drinks they all picked up at the service station...i had big plans this year....special to do with my spam creation..... in years past we have just had cold cuts but i thought i would bring back the spam tradition with a twist -- shaping the spam into a turkey, well not as easy as it sounds and it was just a plain ole loaf o'spam...i took some photos with my kodak disk but walgreens told me they haven't developed film from a disk in fifteen to twenty years i say that's a load....just b/c i don't have a fancy you can see the picture immediately camera i can't get my pictures developed? i was so angry, i threw down my Kool Milds, told the kid to pull up his damn pants and promptly went straight to discount drug mart...where i was again heckled for using a camera from the eighties...what's wrong with that my car is the same age and still gets me from a to b.....all this and it was black friday...what is wrong with these people??? i just don't understand, why, why, why, i ask you?????

well one of those teenagers just popped by and loaded a couple pictures of our Velveeta spam

and she scanned me in a old picture of cecil with cecil, jr., his ex-wife and great aunt wanda....not getting me in the christmas spirit at all but maybe it will help one of you all out there...and just in case you don't remember the kodak disk i had my niece take a shot at my apparent antique camera..you betcha still in **mint** condition....

now i am off to the bowling alley to claim my stool and relax with a tall one and of course my kool milds....

freakn halloween

i know i know get off my back already people...i have been busy with league tourneys at the alley and not enough time to update this nonsense just for everyone elses enterfreakntainment. anyway, i had to chaperone a halloween party in late october and i think i am still recovering...it was nothin like we have around the trailer court, we have some sheets over the head and plastic masks anything for an excuse to get together with a keg of old milwaukee...

look at these costumes - can you believe it..the money spent on these costumes could buy me a crate of Kool Milds...

and to top it off..no bobbing for apples? come on, have you ever been to a party in october and not bobbed for apples? it like going to the high school fun fest and not having a dunk tank. bobbin for apples around the court is always full of shenanigans and a lot of ruckus especially if cecil jr and dale are around..always think its funny to hold some new guys head under until he shooting water out his nose...such nonsense.

survivor bs!

i am at my usual spot on thursday night, you all know by now, if you dont too bad! the bar tv is tuned into SURVIVOR...

come on, what the*^&@!

who watches that crap and who would want to spend weeks with no bathroom, no toilet paper and the most important things no KOOL MILDS and no OLD MILWAUKEE....

the only time i give up the

old milwaukee is when the bar has 25cent

PABST BLUE RIBBON once a month!

there isnt any amount of money or the promise of a new trailer to get me to spend any amount of time with stinky strangers who think they are all that!!sitting at the bar tonight with me are cecils neighbors that live 2 trailers down from him-

ricky lee and joellen

if you look real close at ricky lees eyes you will notice his glass eye

when he gets real drunk, he takes it out and washes it in his beer....

tonight wasnt one of those nights.

okay enough of the chitchat

back to some real conversation.

NASCAR!

nascar recap!

i have been back from my nascar trip for a couple of weeks now and lived to talk about it...the race was all i could image but thank gawd it was not too hot, i could not have stood there packed into the grandstand like sardines in 80+ degree weather...some of those guys smelled bad enough without the help of sweat. i ran out of koolmilds about 230 miles into the race and had to snag some vantage cigs from the old man in front of me...i think he thought i was cute with my fashonista butterfly i've been sporting in my doo. to tell you the truth i think i had more fun hangin with my nascar buddies that night before the race -- above you can see me with Big Ray, Martha Jean and Little Ray. if you look closely you can see alot of the drivers autographs on Martha Jeans shirt. Cecil would kill for that shirt...Big Ray, Martha Jean and Little Ray made the trip down from Ct. They make this pilgrimage every year.
the ride with those artsy crafty gals seemed at times the ride to hell ...they could turn a 14 hours drive into a three day excursion stopping at every little antique shop along the way.


We got holed up in rochester, ny on the way back to ohio due to that damn hurricane ike - the wind was blowing so flippin hard i thought i was going to lose half my lee press on nails and wouldn't you know i just glued those bad boys on just before the big race.

when i finally got home i had to beat cecil and family off like flies trying to get in on every little detail of the race and my weekend...whatever, they need to pony up the money and get their own freakn tickets and stop thinking they are all that just because they go to the demolition derby most saturday nights.
i got myself in to a few more adventures while in new hampshire but those will have to wait for another post - it is time for me to head out to the alley and have me a few old milwaukees..
the barstool is calling my name.

nascar bound

sweet jesus~~

i cannot believe that i am this lucky to be going to an actual nascar race this weekend...

the only problem is that i have to hitch a ride with these 2crafty gals that dont know when to shut their damn pie holes .

shit they wanna stop and take g**damn pictures at every corner...if i hear one more time

"hey, thats a photo op, stop" i am just goin ralph my slim jims up!

this picture is taken at cecils place , i took pleasure in telling him that i was going and he wasnt!!

he couldnt get off from the plant, ha ha!

look over my shoulder and you can see all the damn medication he is on!